uno!

on a different note, i've now had this blog for a year!

yipee!

unfortunately, it has kept track on the most painful year of my life.

great timing.

my first post is so painful to read.

i had no idea what was even coming.

but we're on the other side now!

win?

humpty dumpty

when will my heart stop hurting?

honestly.

how many times can it be broken?

it seems that once it's been broken once, it never fully heals.

so when it's been shattered, there seems to always be little cracks.

and the smallest rattle just makes it fall to pieces again.

i don't want my heart to hurt anymore.

i hate feeling like this all the time.

lord, save me. heal me. restore me.

only you can put me back together.

because i can't do this by myself.

i'm far too weak. too human.

and it just hurts too much.

so much.

it's debilitating.

i can't breathe.

i want to breathe.

inhale deeply.

and feel free.

not pain.

not this deep.

not this cutting.

i'm so broken.

put me back together.

so i can live.

and not just survive.

i sucks being reminded daily of your own i ability to live life without failing.

that's why we need a saviour in every moment.

but i need to get rid of all of this.

because i'm more and more of a shell.

and i hate it.

b