“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been pondering
“What does love look like?”
“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been asking of You
I once believed that love was romance, just a chance
I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful
I once believed that love was a momentary bliss
But love is more than this
All You ever wanted was my attention
All You ever wanted was love from me
All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet
Then I sat down, a little frustrated and confused
If all of life comes down to love
Then love has to be more than sentiment
More than selfishness and selfish gain
And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me
I could not escape those beautiful eyes
And I began to weep and weep
He had arms wide open, a heart exposed
Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding
Love’s definition, love’s definition was looking at me
Looking at Him, hanging on a tree
I began to weep and weep and weep and weep
This is how I know what love is, this is how I know what love is
And as I sat there weeping, crying
Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love
He said to me, “You shall love Me, You shall love Me
You shall love Me, You shall love Me”
With arms wide open, a heart exposed
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding
If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me
Take up your cross, deny yourself
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me
And You’ll come alive when you learn to die
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Three in One Plus B
Father God,
Remove this terror from my heart.
The one that sneaks up from behind.
The one that paralyzes me in my tracks,
That whispers lies into my ear.
And seeks to kill and destroy.
You are Sovereign,
You are Lord,
What You decree will be done.
You say You favour me,
You slay my enemies,
Please, Daddy,
Destroy these monsters for your Princess.
You...I haven't the words.
Reveal Yourself to me.
Reveal Your character, Father God.
There is so much for me to learn.
I need my Daddy.
There is more than what I currently have.
I am missing something important.
What is it?
Show me your Character.
At least, some of the sides that I'm missing.
They are innumerable.
But Everlasting Father.
Alpha. Omega.
My Creator,
Oh Lord Most Sovereign.
I want to know You.
Yahweh. Elohim. Jehovah.
I AM.
Who are You?
I want to know You.
To hear Your voice.
To be a woman after Your Heart.
I am asking so so so much.
More than my heart can currently understand.
Take me there.
For your Kingdom and for Your Glory.
I love you, Papa.
Beloved Jesus,
You know my pain.
You have lived it, felt it, carried it.
The rejection in Your beautiful heart is eternally greater than mine ever will be.
You have already healed mine so much.
Beautiful that I love. Thank you.
Even now You see my pain that remains and do not turn your gaze.
You say "Beloved, Your emotions are my treasure,
As is ever tear that you shed.
And You hasten, hasten, hasten
Your armies to cover me from all sides.
You are the Knight that saves this Princess.
You are unconquerable, unchanging, unblemished.
You have risen above the world,
Overcome it with your Love.
With your Blood and Grace
You have given me the keys to my freedom
And to unlock Your Heavenly Kingdom.
What love is this, that knows me?
That pursues me, that heals me, that molds me?
That sees through my weakness and sees strength.
That sees through my pain and sees beauty.
That sees through my sin and declares "life".
That sees through my brokenness and says "whole".
That sees past my filthy rags and sees nothing but purity.
The One that has overcome the world looks into my eyes and says,
"Turn your eyes from Me, for they have overcome Me...
You have stolen My Heart with one glance...
Your eyes are like doves, eyes of undistracted devotion"
I am My Beloved's and He is mine.
My Comfort and Friend, Holy Spirit
I love You.
I love You and Your Power.
I love You in Your subtleties.
I love You in Your displays of Mighty Works.
I love Your Mercy, Grace and Care,
I love the way You move in me.
I love the way You stir in me, excite me, convict me, teach me.
I love the way You lift me up.
I adore the way You move mountains,
I marvel at how You can heal any disease, brokenness and past.
I rejoice that You can inspire new tongues,
And let me join the Heavenlies in prayer and intercession.
I love that You welcome me alongside You to fight this fleshless war.
I am floored that You can open my eyes to the things Unseen.
I am astounded that You give me the authority to say to the mountain "Move".
I can't grasp that my words can bring life, healing and freedom.
Only through You.
Without you, I am powerless, hopeless and a slave.
With you, I have freedom, power, authority, grace, peace and abundant joy.
With you, I have Jesus with me at every step.
What more could I ever ask for?
Remove this terror from my heart.
The one that sneaks up from behind.
The one that paralyzes me in my tracks,
That whispers lies into my ear.
And seeks to kill and destroy.
You are Sovereign,
You are Lord,
What You decree will be done.
You say You favour me,
You slay my enemies,
Please, Daddy,
Destroy these monsters for your Princess.
You...I haven't the words.
Reveal Yourself to me.
Reveal Your character, Father God.
There is so much for me to learn.
I need my Daddy.
There is more than what I currently have.
I am missing something important.
What is it?
Show me your Character.
At least, some of the sides that I'm missing.
They are innumerable.
But Everlasting Father.
Alpha. Omega.
My Creator,
Oh Lord Most Sovereign.
I want to know You.
Yahweh. Elohim. Jehovah.
I AM.
Who are You?
I want to know You.
To hear Your voice.
To be a woman after Your Heart.
I am asking so so so much.
More than my heart can currently understand.
Take me there.
For your Kingdom and for Your Glory.
I love you, Papa.
Beloved Jesus,
You know my pain.
You have lived it, felt it, carried it.
The rejection in Your beautiful heart is eternally greater than mine ever will be.
You have already healed mine so much.
Beautiful that I love. Thank you.
Even now You see my pain that remains and do not turn your gaze.
You say "Beloved, Your emotions are my treasure,
As is ever tear that you shed.
And You hasten, hasten, hasten
Your armies to cover me from all sides.
You are the Knight that saves this Princess.
You are unconquerable, unchanging, unblemished.
You have risen above the world,
Overcome it with your Love.
With your Blood and Grace
You have given me the keys to my freedom
And to unlock Your Heavenly Kingdom.
What love is this, that knows me?
That pursues me, that heals me, that molds me?
That sees through my weakness and sees strength.
That sees through my pain and sees beauty.
That sees through my sin and declares "life".
That sees through my brokenness and says "whole".
That sees past my filthy rags and sees nothing but purity.
The One that has overcome the world looks into my eyes and says,
"Turn your eyes from Me, for they have overcome Me...
You have stolen My Heart with one glance...
Your eyes are like doves, eyes of undistracted devotion"
I am My Beloved's and He is mine.
My Comfort and Friend, Holy Spirit
I love You.
I love You and Your Power.
I love You in Your subtleties.
I love You in Your displays of Mighty Works.
I love Your Mercy, Grace and Care,
I love the way You move in me.
I love the way You stir in me, excite me, convict me, teach me.
I love the way You lift me up.
I adore the way You move mountains,
I marvel at how You can heal any disease, brokenness and past.
I rejoice that You can inspire new tongues,
And let me join the Heavenlies in prayer and intercession.
I love that You welcome me alongside You to fight this fleshless war.
I am floored that You can open my eyes to the things Unseen.
I am astounded that You give me the authority to say to the mountain "Move".
I can't grasp that my words can bring life, healing and freedom.
Only through You.
Without you, I am powerless, hopeless and a slave.
With you, I have freedom, power, authority, grace, peace and abundant joy.
With you, I have Jesus with me at every step.
What more could I ever ask for?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Enthralled
"This is what Jesus is like to me. This is my testimony. This is the Christ
that I have personally encountered.
He has an immense, immeasurable,and eternal compassion. His compassion is always greater than my sin. He is scandalously forgiving. His mercy burns as it destroys shame.
He has unbounded patience, unending goodness. His love is so compelling, it heals us. It strips away all our pretense and it restores us to happiness.
His grace is the empowering presence within that enables us to feel good about ourselves.
His mercy is His total favor given gladly to an undeserving heart.
He is the kindest person I have ever known.
His goodness is so outrageous and shocking, it's actually disreputable to the religious minded. He's the happiest person I know. He has the sunniest disposition than anybody I've ever met. He is enthusiastically fervent in His pursuit of each one of us.
He is amazingly humble and gentle but He's also this powerful warrior King who loves to fight and laughs at His enemies.
He has this fabulous servant spirit. He dosn't need a title or status or position. But He joyfully sets an example of simple, heartwarming slavery.
His love is enthralling. It captivates and commands us to be the same as Him. His love is designed to overwhelm all things, especially fear, shame, and low self esteem. He loves being trusted. He is delighted and astonished when we use our faith.
He will never keep a record of our sins or our failings. He has mercy that can never be properly understood or articulated, just experienced. The only way we can explain mercy, is by being merciful ourselves. Jesus the Redeemer gives us value in the eyes of the Father. He sees and He speaks to our potential. And He both protects us and releases us to fulfill all that He wants us to see and know about ourselves. We are outrageously loved with an uncommon love.
Oh, on top of all that, He forgives. He is full of forgiveness. He loves to pardon. He loves to release an offender from the legal consequences of a conviction."
From Graham Cooke's Uncommon Love, Disk #2 "Who is God to You?"
that I have personally encountered.
He has an immense, immeasurable,and eternal compassion. His compassion is always greater than my sin. He is scandalously forgiving. His mercy burns as it destroys shame.
He has unbounded patience, unending goodness. His love is so compelling, it heals us. It strips away all our pretense and it restores us to happiness.
His grace is the empowering presence within that enables us to feel good about ourselves.
His mercy is His total favor given gladly to an undeserving heart.
He is the kindest person I have ever known.
His goodness is so outrageous and shocking, it's actually disreputable to the religious minded. He's the happiest person I know. He has the sunniest disposition than anybody I've ever met. He is enthusiastically fervent in His pursuit of each one of us.
He is amazingly humble and gentle but He's also this powerful warrior King who loves to fight and laughs at His enemies.
He has this fabulous servant spirit. He dosn't need a title or status or position. But He joyfully sets an example of simple, heartwarming slavery.
His love is enthralling. It captivates and commands us to be the same as Him. His love is designed to overwhelm all things, especially fear, shame, and low self esteem. He loves being trusted. He is delighted and astonished when we use our faith.
He will never keep a record of our sins or our failings. He has mercy that can never be properly understood or articulated, just experienced. The only way we can explain mercy, is by being merciful ourselves. Jesus the Redeemer gives us value in the eyes of the Father. He sees and He speaks to our potential. And He both protects us and releases us to fulfill all that He wants us to see and know about ourselves. We are outrageously loved with an uncommon love.
Oh, on top of all that, He forgives. He is full of forgiveness. He loves to pardon. He loves to release an offender from the legal consequences of a conviction."
From Graham Cooke's Uncommon Love, Disk #2 "Who is God to You?"
Smattering
I feel like there's so much to say and yet so little time and attention span to share it in. So I will type and see what comes out. Bear with me.
Lately I've felt like I was in some kind of limbo. Sort of directionless. Which is quite new to me, since I'm a planner and I like to know where I'm going to I can make sure I get there with everything I need and complete awareness of my surroundings.
I've assessed myself and I've decided that I'm not a control freak, which is quite reassuring (because I would be very upset if I were), but it has been brought to my attention that I like routine. This is all well and good, but it has made me reevaluate myself. I have a sneaking suspicion that I figured this out about myself years ago. High school sounds about right. I seem to be able to do about 100 things in a week if it's all scheduled, but if my routine is thrown out the window, I get thrown for a loop. This also surprised me because I consider a flexible person, one who is open to do things if other people want to do them and who doesn't mind adjusting her schedule to suit other ppl's needs.
I remember frustrating myself SO much when I was younger because any conclusion I reached about myself was simply met with a contradiction.
Now, a handful of years later and nearing the end of the 3rd year of my undergrad, I feel like these qualities are not narrowing, they continue to polarize.
Bah.
I remember when I was younger I would be at EVERYTHING, ALWAYS, on time with bells on.
Now I tend to be late and sometimes just don't show up and this is a pattern that I've seen developing since my 2nd year and it frustrates me. I can't seem to break it. It all seems so so uncharacteristic.
Yeesh, I'm going to start crying. (One thing, at least, that has remained consistent)
The amount that I've grown in the last few years has indeed been, in my eyes, astronomical. I honestly can't believe the amount of things that I've seen, heard, learned, felt and lived. Time flies and I've tried to absorb everything I've been able to get a hold of that good be considered useful along the way.
I'm me. I know more now of who I am then I ever have (which should receive a huge DUH)but there are parts of me that still seem to be in shambles and I don't know if those are lies or just things to work on.
K, not shambles...just not where the should be. And what seems to be most frustrating, not where the used to be and not where I've experienced and thrived in them before.
I used to be known as a hard worker, a determined young woman, a leader and disciplined woman who was willing to do whatever it took to get wherever she needed to be. I was passionate.
Don't get me wrong. That's all still in there. I know very well that those things are still and will always be me. God has revealed to me, even in the smallest measure the potential that I have, but why do I feel so far from that?
I speak against any and all spirits of inadequacy. That's so not what I'm saying. I am made for glory. I am made for glory. I am made for glory. I cling to grace and the strength of my Beloved and my Saviour to walk in the path that He has set before me.
But I want that spark back. That never die attitude. The drive to be the best that I can be. That passion that drove me. God, where is it? I see pieces of it showing through, but I'm not even close to the glory that you've designed me for.
And that's why I'm frustrated. I feel defeated daily by my own humanity. The inclination to be lazy is so loud. The temptation of mediocrity seems absurdly appealing. Settling seems plenty fine to me.
I can't believe those are the thoughts in my head. The lies. Where on earth did that sludge come from?
Woah woah, wake up B. Wake up. God, give me the discernment to see where this came from. The authority to deny it. And the wisdom to run to you. Deliver me from this is Jesus' name. Ugh. GOD. I cry out to you!! I will not be mediocre! You deserve all my best!! All of me. You have put me here. God, let me always give 110%. Why should I do any less?
God, there is grace and I clothe myself in that. You will hold me up and strengthen me to thrive and have enormous FAVOUR. I will be happy. Joyous. Whole. Rested. Peaceful. Victorious. Loved. And One with You. This is my desire.
Break off any chains that are trying to restrain and cloud that desire in Jesus' name. I am Yours. Solely Yours. Who am I without you, Jesus? I need you. I want you. You are what I want. Lord, create in me the heart of Esther. I just heard that. I'm not sure why. Well, I kind of know why. But you'll bring that picture into play in due time.
Refinement is a great thing, but it's the glory of a King to seek it out.
Jesus, I pray for restoration. Completion. I don't want to see these times as time lost, Lord because that would be demeaning the things you've done in my life and WOW. There are so many. You astound me daily of the things you can do with such seemingly half hearted devotion.
And Lord, You know my heart. You know it's desire and You know I love you. So incredibly much that it hurts. You blow me away. You make my life worthwhile. You lift me up. You fill me up. You save me. Heal me. Restore me. Make me laugh. You're so good an ever present. But there's more. And I don't want any unnecessary and unfounded chains to hold me back in anyway. So take them off, and lets see what I've been missing. Acceleration. I take a hold of that declaration of acceleration.
Become the apple of my eye. The sole desire of my heart. My Beloved. My Friend.
I declare myself a woman of integrity, honesty, trustworthiness, commitment, diligence, perseverance, determination, favour, joy, peace, comfort, encouragement and love. A woman of God. Devoted to Him.
I love you Jesus.
And to whoever read this...well. That was vulnerable of me. But that was something else that I never seemed to have a problem with either :P
Jesus I pray for strength and the light of your face to shine upon me. Thank you for revealing this, Beloved. I can't wait to see what you do with it.
Much love,
B
Lately I've felt like I was in some kind of limbo. Sort of directionless. Which is quite new to me, since I'm a planner and I like to know where I'm going to I can make sure I get there with everything I need and complete awareness of my surroundings.
I've assessed myself and I've decided that I'm not a control freak, which is quite reassuring (because I would be very upset if I were), but it has been brought to my attention that I like routine. This is all well and good, but it has made me reevaluate myself. I have a sneaking suspicion that I figured this out about myself years ago. High school sounds about right. I seem to be able to do about 100 things in a week if it's all scheduled, but if my routine is thrown out the window, I get thrown for a loop. This also surprised me because I consider a flexible person, one who is open to do things if other people want to do them and who doesn't mind adjusting her schedule to suit other ppl's needs.
I remember frustrating myself SO much when I was younger because any conclusion I reached about myself was simply met with a contradiction.
Now, a handful of years later and nearing the end of the 3rd year of my undergrad, I feel like these qualities are not narrowing, they continue to polarize.
Bah.
I remember when I was younger I would be at EVERYTHING, ALWAYS, on time with bells on.
Now I tend to be late and sometimes just don't show up and this is a pattern that I've seen developing since my 2nd year and it frustrates me. I can't seem to break it. It all seems so so uncharacteristic.
Yeesh, I'm going to start crying. (One thing, at least, that has remained consistent)
The amount that I've grown in the last few years has indeed been, in my eyes, astronomical. I honestly can't believe the amount of things that I've seen, heard, learned, felt and lived. Time flies and I've tried to absorb everything I've been able to get a hold of that good be considered useful along the way.
I'm me. I know more now of who I am then I ever have (which should receive a huge DUH)but there are parts of me that still seem to be in shambles and I don't know if those are lies or just things to work on.
K, not shambles...just not where the should be. And what seems to be most frustrating, not where the used to be and not where I've experienced and thrived in them before.
I used to be known as a hard worker, a determined young woman, a leader and disciplined woman who was willing to do whatever it took to get wherever she needed to be. I was passionate.
Don't get me wrong. That's all still in there. I know very well that those things are still and will always be me. God has revealed to me, even in the smallest measure the potential that I have, but why do I feel so far from that?
I speak against any and all spirits of inadequacy. That's so not what I'm saying. I am made for glory. I am made for glory. I am made for glory. I cling to grace and the strength of my Beloved and my Saviour to walk in the path that He has set before me.
But I want that spark back. That never die attitude. The drive to be the best that I can be. That passion that drove me. God, where is it? I see pieces of it showing through, but I'm not even close to the glory that you've designed me for.
And that's why I'm frustrated. I feel defeated daily by my own humanity. The inclination to be lazy is so loud. The temptation of mediocrity seems absurdly appealing. Settling seems plenty fine to me.
I can't believe those are the thoughts in my head. The lies. Where on earth did that sludge come from?
Woah woah, wake up B. Wake up. God, give me the discernment to see where this came from. The authority to deny it. And the wisdom to run to you. Deliver me from this is Jesus' name. Ugh. GOD. I cry out to you!! I will not be mediocre! You deserve all my best!! All of me. You have put me here. God, let me always give 110%. Why should I do any less?
God, there is grace and I clothe myself in that. You will hold me up and strengthen me to thrive and have enormous FAVOUR. I will be happy. Joyous. Whole. Rested. Peaceful. Victorious. Loved. And One with You. This is my desire.
Break off any chains that are trying to restrain and cloud that desire in Jesus' name. I am Yours. Solely Yours. Who am I without you, Jesus? I need you. I want you. You are what I want. Lord, create in me the heart of Esther. I just heard that. I'm not sure why. Well, I kind of know why. But you'll bring that picture into play in due time.
Refinement is a great thing, but it's the glory of a King to seek it out.
Jesus, I pray for restoration. Completion. I don't want to see these times as time lost, Lord because that would be demeaning the things you've done in my life and WOW. There are so many. You astound me daily of the things you can do with such seemingly half hearted devotion.
And Lord, You know my heart. You know it's desire and You know I love you. So incredibly much that it hurts. You blow me away. You make my life worthwhile. You lift me up. You fill me up. You save me. Heal me. Restore me. Make me laugh. You're so good an ever present. But there's more. And I don't want any unnecessary and unfounded chains to hold me back in anyway. So take them off, and lets see what I've been missing. Acceleration. I take a hold of that declaration of acceleration.
Become the apple of my eye. The sole desire of my heart. My Beloved. My Friend.
I declare myself a woman of integrity, honesty, trustworthiness, commitment, diligence, perseverance, determination, favour, joy, peace, comfort, encouragement and love. A woman of God. Devoted to Him.
I love you Jesus.
And to whoever read this...well. That was vulnerable of me. But that was something else that I never seemed to have a problem with either :P
Jesus I pray for strength and the light of your face to shine upon me. Thank you for revealing this, Beloved. I can't wait to see what you do with it.
Much love,
B
Saturday, January 16, 2010
BEE! Sheesh!
Hm.
I seem like a happy person, yes?
Yes. I know I do.
While some of you have seen some bad sides to me, particularly in the past while, and others of you seeming some not-so-happy -B in my high school days, you all know that deep down I am by far one of the happiest and optimistic people out there.
Heck, both my names scream the quality of happiness:
Beatriz means Bringer of Joy and Abigail means My Father's or Fountain of Joy.
And it is true, even in my darkest moments, I've still been able to find joy and contentment in most all aspects of my life.
The Lord, primarily, but I am also richly blessed with the best family in the world, and more friends than one person could ever hope for. I am blessed with not just buddies, but a long string of friends in which I am allowed to cultivate deep relationships and that know me for who I am, and don't let me believe any lie over myself and that encourage me to be my best and to except the best because I deserve the best that have taken great care of me and that bring me within an a moment of peeing my pants in laughter. Oh yes, and I have the best job in the world and I love my school.
So why why why why WHY?! so I still struggle with things that should have been behind me years and years ago?! In a moment I manage to somehow negate all of the beauty and blessing in my life with lies and garbage that just has absolutely nothing to stand strong in, yet somehow seems to grow stronger if left unattended.
I baffle myself with my own weakness. Yes I know that Christ is my strength, but I must choose to walk in it, and even though I want to choose, in those moments of trial, why does it seem so impossible to submit? Surrender? Flee?
So, this is resolve. I'm not sure how this will play out, but in every moment I will do my utmost to turn everything to Him. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
Why?
Because even though I am richly blessed and highly favoured by the Lord, in walking in this Truth I must also learn to love myself. I don't hate myself. I know I don't. But it's about high time that I took care of myself and treasured myself as much as He does and as much as other seem to. I will not believe that I am unworthy because Christ sees me as worthy. And that's the only opinion that matters.
I'm past believing that lies people speak over me. That is not something I will ever go back to in Jesus' name, but now that I know Christ loves me more intimately, jealously and passionately than I could ever imagine, I will now work to seeing myself solely through His eyes, and not even my own. His eyes are the only ones that matter. I love me. I am perfectly and wonderfully made. He is my Sustenance and Provision. He will always satisfy me. Nothing else will do. And as He wishes to treat me, so will I treat myself. I'm in a borrowed temple. It's not mine to own. I've been bought with the highest price ever paid for anything in the history of everything.
So dearest, please, handle with care.
Love, B
I seem like a happy person, yes?
Yes. I know I do.
While some of you have seen some bad sides to me, particularly in the past while, and others of you seeming some not-so-happy -B in my high school days, you all know that deep down I am by far one of the happiest and optimistic people out there.
Heck, both my names scream the quality of happiness:
Beatriz means Bringer of Joy and Abigail means My Father's or Fountain of Joy.
And it is true, even in my darkest moments, I've still been able to find joy and contentment in most all aspects of my life.
The Lord, primarily, but I am also richly blessed with the best family in the world, and more friends than one person could ever hope for. I am blessed with not just buddies, but a long string of friends in which I am allowed to cultivate deep relationships and that know me for who I am, and don't let me believe any lie over myself and that encourage me to be my best and to except the best because I deserve the best that have taken great care of me and that bring me within an a moment of peeing my pants in laughter. Oh yes, and I have the best job in the world and I love my school.
So why why why why WHY?! so I still struggle with things that should have been behind me years and years ago?! In a moment I manage to somehow negate all of the beauty and blessing in my life with lies and garbage that just has absolutely nothing to stand strong in, yet somehow seems to grow stronger if left unattended.
I baffle myself with my own weakness. Yes I know that Christ is my strength, but I must choose to walk in it, and even though I want to choose, in those moments of trial, why does it seem so impossible to submit? Surrender? Flee?
So, this is resolve. I'm not sure how this will play out, but in every moment I will do my utmost to turn everything to Him. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
Why?
Because even though I am richly blessed and highly favoured by the Lord, in walking in this Truth I must also learn to love myself. I don't hate myself. I know I don't. But it's about high time that I took care of myself and treasured myself as much as He does and as much as other seem to. I will not believe that I am unworthy because Christ sees me as worthy. And that's the only opinion that matters.
I'm past believing that lies people speak over me. That is not something I will ever go back to in Jesus' name, but now that I know Christ loves me more intimately, jealously and passionately than I could ever imagine, I will now work to seeing myself solely through His eyes, and not even my own. His eyes are the only ones that matter. I love me. I am perfectly and wonderfully made. He is my Sustenance and Provision. He will always satisfy me. Nothing else will do. And as He wishes to treat me, so will I treat myself. I'm in a borrowed temple. It's not mine to own. I've been bought with the highest price ever paid for anything in the history of everything.
So dearest, please, handle with care.
Love, B
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Greatest of These...
So I actually wrote a song.
My first song.
And I was singing it today and my boss mentioned that there was a lot of emotion behind it, which I figured there would be...but I of course love that it comes through, because that's why I wrote the song. Yes, I also wrote it for my friends Matt and Becky's wedding (ONE WEEK LEFT!) but as I began to plan, I began to think that I wanted to bless them more than just write some lame love song.
SO I turned to God and asked Him what He wanted me to say as a blessing to these two dear friends, but also as a song to Him.
Love is not a human concept. It is Divinely inspired. We love because He first loved us. I cannot love without Him loving me or without walking in this unconditional, gracious, passionate love. God has taken me through some ridiculous growth in the last while and it's been so encouraging to have Jesus reinforce what I mean to Him.
Through all this I know who I am in Him and my identity in Him. He's been there protecting me, guiding me, providing for me, loving me and singing over me with such a diligence and grace that has overcome me. And yet though He does this for me, He is captivated by me, overcome by my gaze, sees me as a lily amongst the thorns.
"I was made for love..."
Lord deeply root that into my heart. Though men break promises YOU have never failed me.
I am free. Heavenly Father I am free and victorious in you!
"Whom the Son sets free is free indeed and there ain't no chain that can hinder me!"
I've hurt so much but God's love has brought me through, refining me and transforming me. Through this process of self-realization, I've come to discover what I would do for love. In this case, earthly love.
I wrote it down a few months ago. It was more or less my promise to whoever God has planned for me of what I believe love is and what love does--how for it will go bearing in mind that this love is not just my own love or strength, but the love poured out on me ever so graciously and generously from my Saviour and King.
God pointed out Scriptures to me that were relevant to this, primarily in the Song of Solomon and of course 1 Corinthians 13.
And from there came my song. While the song came out kind of none specific, it reflects my heart for love and I truly believe it reflects my Beloved's heart.
It is the story of a girl, dark, but lovely being woo'd by The King.
"What is love?
Won't you tell me what is love?
Is it the words you say,
The songs you sing,
The way you look inside me?
What is love?
Tell me what is love?"
"You have ravished my heart,
Your eyes of devotion have captured me,
You are my love,
You're so beautiful,
You're my Bride,
You're the apple of my eye"
"What is love?"
"This love waits for you,
Is so kind to you,
It never gets too proud.
This love is jealous for you,
And only for you,
It will never be put out.
It will will rejoice in what is good,
And it will leave the rest behind.
Because love bears all things..
It believes in all things...
It hopes and endures all things..."
"What is love?
Tell me what is this love?
It is the words you speak,
It is the songs you sing,
The way you look inside of me...
This is love.
This is love.
I am my Beloved's and He is mine..."
Love B.
My first song.
And I was singing it today and my boss mentioned that there was a lot of emotion behind it, which I figured there would be...but I of course love that it comes through, because that's why I wrote the song. Yes, I also wrote it for my friends Matt and Becky's wedding (ONE WEEK LEFT!) but as I began to plan, I began to think that I wanted to bless them more than just write some lame love song.
SO I turned to God and asked Him what He wanted me to say as a blessing to these two dear friends, but also as a song to Him.
Love is not a human concept. It is Divinely inspired. We love because He first loved us. I cannot love without Him loving me or without walking in this unconditional, gracious, passionate love. God has taken me through some ridiculous growth in the last while and it's been so encouraging to have Jesus reinforce what I mean to Him.
Through all this I know who I am in Him and my identity in Him. He's been there protecting me, guiding me, providing for me, loving me and singing over me with such a diligence and grace that has overcome me. And yet though He does this for me, He is captivated by me, overcome by my gaze, sees me as a lily amongst the thorns.
"I was made for love..."
Lord deeply root that into my heart. Though men break promises YOU have never failed me.
I am free. Heavenly Father I am free and victorious in you!
"Whom the Son sets free is free indeed and there ain't no chain that can hinder me!"
I've hurt so much but God's love has brought me through, refining me and transforming me. Through this process of self-realization, I've come to discover what I would do for love. In this case, earthly love.
I wrote it down a few months ago. It was more or less my promise to whoever God has planned for me of what I believe love is and what love does--how for it will go bearing in mind that this love is not just my own love or strength, but the love poured out on me ever so graciously and generously from my Saviour and King.
God pointed out Scriptures to me that were relevant to this, primarily in the Song of Solomon and of course 1 Corinthians 13.
And from there came my song. While the song came out kind of none specific, it reflects my heart for love and I truly believe it reflects my Beloved's heart.
It is the story of a girl, dark, but lovely being woo'd by The King.
"What is love?
Won't you tell me what is love?
Is it the words you say,
The songs you sing,
The way you look inside me?
What is love?
Tell me what is love?"
"You have ravished my heart,
Your eyes of devotion have captured me,
You are my love,
You're so beautiful,
You're my Bride,
You're the apple of my eye"
"What is love?"
"This love waits for you,
Is so kind to you,
It never gets too proud.
This love is jealous for you,
And only for you,
It will never be put out.
It will will rejoice in what is good,
And it will leave the rest behind.
Because love bears all things..
It believes in all things...
It hopes and endures all things..."
"What is love?
Tell me what is this love?
It is the words you speak,
It is the songs you sing,
The way you look inside of me...
This is love.
This is love.
I am my Beloved's and He is mine..."
Love B.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
From Cassie
This is something from my friend Cassie's blog which warmed my heart <3
"I am so human it aches. It aches in my soul to repeatedly miss the mark. It aches in my heart, where Christ orchestrates the pounding of my beating heart – where He is still, whispering purpose to my existence with every breath I inhale. It aches there. Make it stop. Fill me up. I am wrecked. Broken. Chipped. Dismantled. Torn. I am so human it aches to the very core of who I am, who doesn’t measure up to who I was created to be. I am sick at heart. Running. But running hurts too. How did I come so far?? Thank you for following me, into the dark. I didn’t know I would be so afraid of it." – from May 2008.
"I am so human it aches. It aches in my soul to repeatedly miss the mark. It aches in my heart, where Christ orchestrates the pounding of my beating heart – where He is still, whispering purpose to my existence with every breath I inhale. It aches there. Make it stop. Fill me up. I am wrecked. Broken. Chipped. Dismantled. Torn. I am so human it aches to the very core of who I am, who doesn’t measure up to who I was created to be. I am sick at heart. Running. But running hurts too. How did I come so far?? Thank you for following me, into the dark. I didn’t know I would be so afraid of it." – from May 2008.
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