What Would I have Done?

It's been a while, and I'm sure this one will be brief, mostly because I have to go to English soon and I have a midterm that I need to prepare for.

That aside, the last month and a half has been the most MESSED up time I've ever had.

I feel as if I've spent most of the time on the outside of myself looking in, shaking my head asking, "Who in the world is that? And does she not see how stupid she's being?"

At the same time I've been so caught up in the downward spiral that I feel like I can't escape.

The word "self-implosion" comes to mind.

If that's even a legit word. For argument's sake, we'll say it is.

So I asked for help.

Which, in reality, was probably the healthiest thing I could have ever done for myself, while consequentially being the most exhausting thing EVER.

Introspection is he most demanding thing I've ever done.

And I've done a lot.

But I've never been more down.

I long for the day that I will be myself again.

I miss being the incurable optimist and the "bringer of joy" that I once was.

And while I'm still "me" I feel like those closest to me are brought down by my many troubles.

I'm open with my life and trials, but I don't like bogging people down with all this crap that has mercilessly piled up.

It's not fair to just drop that on them, and yet if I don't, I'll drown.

Thankfully, I am blessed with AMAZING friends that surround me, tolerate me, encourage me, listen to me and love me.

Just the other day, my friend had a revelation that I'm still trying to unpack.

Three of us were sitting, praying, and she saw three angels angels (which, awesomely, is not uncommon).

The next night, she had a revelation about all of them:

Bea's was on the right. and it was breathtakenly beautiful. so much so, that i couldn't take it all in, all i could focus on was it's wing, and i was blown away just by that. it glistened, and each feather was so perfect, and so beautiful. gleaming. glistening. like the kind of beauty that just makes you blush inside. this is your angel, because this is truely how God sees you. you are breathtakingly beautiful, and valued to Him. you are His treasure. like the one inside the treasure box that is locked up with lock and key, and when the box is open it just gleams and glows and radiates... but only when Jesus unlocks it. and I see he has the key safe, and only he knows where it is. he holds it close to Him, around His neck.
you are His treasure. and He is so proud of you.

That's the angel that God has sent to protect me, even when I don't protect myself.

Who am I that You are mindful of me?

That you would call me friend?

That you would send an angel to protect me when I've failed you so?

This is grace.

Infinite, selfless and unconditional love.

This is the love that is offered to me.

What am I doing with it?

*Sigh*

Gravity/No power of Hell, No scheme of man...

Why must people always play the victim?
Seriously, find anyone who's complaining about anything and they're victimizing themselves one way or another.
And why do we do it? (Yes, I can easily say I include myself in this)
Is it because we love to be "right"? Sympathized? Listened to? Vengeful with our spiteful words?
I don't know. I guess it depends on the day.

This song sort of embodied me for the past...well...while:

"Gravity"-Sara Bareilles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

[CHORUS:]
Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

[CHORUS]

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...
Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

But today, I decided that I'm going to stop playing the victim.

It's a tired roll.

And granted, it's served me well (ugh, who am I kidding, no it hasn't), but it's served its purpose for the time that I needed it.

People told me to take this time to sift through feelings, emotions, hurt, pains, joys, grief....but where does it end?

I want to be better. Lord knows, someday I WILL be better.

And so I realized of how sick I was down in the muck of my misery and I said, "That's enough. I don't want this anymore."

So whatever was left of me that was attached, concerned about or bothered by my life in the last year in the half was straight up told to go.

I told it all I was done with it, I lifted my hands up, held them in front of me, and dropped it. It def outstayed its "welcome" and I gave it up, seemingly for the hundreth time to the Lord.

Thankfully, my Lord is very gracious and He took it again, because He recognized that this was a whole brand new layer of grossness.

I'm not happy. Not all the way to my core.

Ha, I haven't been a very good "Christian"...not that superficiality means diddly squat to me. But my intimacy with the Lord has been lacking. And I can feel the massive void, the chasm in my centre.

And I asked Him to refill it.

I want to feel again.

Even if it's not me breathing...if it's Him living and breathing in me, at least I'll feel. Life support is better than living with out oxygen.

Forgiveness is the key to this new life. This "New Man" that's mentioned in Scripture.

I want to be excited about Him again. To seek Him again. To have Him in front of me; all I see, all I want. He's worth it.

In Him alone lies the freedom my entire being is crying out for, even if it only feels like a faint, muffled whimper, the desire to be alive, to be ME has not died...He will not allow it. It's far too beautiful.

I remember crying out "I don't want to be crushed anymore! I don't want to be crushed! To feel crushed! No more crushed! Please. It hurts too much...it hurts too much...

"Love is still equated with pain!" I realized. "I don't trust love!" I cried to my own surprise. No wonder I'd hidden myself from Him. I didn't trust Him. That breaks my heart almost as much as it must hurt His. Ouchies. Those are lies. All of it. I can't believe I believed those lies. Those are the lies I wanted to avoid.

But when this all was happening, in the midst of lying there, all my insides, pains and mishaps laid bare for the world to see in the most pain of my young life, I asked Him to do whatever took to be ok. Not that I believe that He brought this upon me. But refinement isn't always pretty. It's pretty brutal if anything. And this word just in: Humbling. Ouch. But it will be worth it. And He's already done so much. So it's the best worst pray I've ever uttered.

So, as I sat there again, bare, I prayed again, to be delivered, to walk in my purpose, to live up to my namesake: the Bringer of Joy.

I want it all to be for His glory. Nothing else matters. As long as I'm pleasing Him, I am satisfied.

Then I remembered one of my favourite hymns:

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
SIN'S CURSE HAS LOST ITS GRIP ON ME.
For I am His and He is mine (three lines that will one day probably be found permenantly marked on my body...God is great, but I like reminders)
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

(and the other line that will probably be found on me): No power of hell, no scheme of man could ever pluck me from His hand!!!!
Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand

Much love, at least, what I have left to give,

Peaches

Baby of MIne

So, prelude:

I've always wanted to be a mother. I can't remember a time where this wasn't the case. Sometimes God gives me a glimpse of the unconditional love of a parent, of a mother. It's part of learning to love like Him. It's part of learning how He loves me.

And in these moments I feel like my baby (or babies) are already here and my heart is filled with a love that hurts in the most beautiful, fulfilling way.

I'm excited to become a Mami :D (mommy in spanish = mami!!)

Not happening in the foreseeable future, ha! But at the same time it'll also be here before I even realize it's here.

Life has a way of surprising you right?

So I'm greatful that God has used my life experiences to prepare myself to be a Mami.

Because I want to be the best Mami there is :)

And I fully plan on doing everything in my power, aka giving it all to God, so that that baby will always feel loved in every moment. Because my baby will be :) As I am :)

Yes, My God is so good.

Baby,

I wish I could explain to you how much I already love you.

Even though you may not come for many more years,

Tu mami te quiere.

I've imagined you in my heart and in my mind and I know that the joy and anticipation that I feel is only a glimpse of what it one day will be, but I want you to know that even today, before Jesus decides to create you in me, you are treasured.

On this Earth, you in my arms will bring unrivaled awe, joy, wonder and fear.

Every part of you will be cherished.

And Mami won't let you ever believe otherwise.

For you will be fearfully and wonderfully made by the Magnificent Creator.

In His image.

And I won't ever let you forget it.

You will never be regretted, rejected or resented.

No matter when you come, my heart will rejoice beyond my mere words.

You will be mine.

The greatest accomplishment of my life by the grace of My Saviour.

My life, little one, has opened my eyes to the beauty of you.

Know that you are wanted. Worthy. Loved. Protected. With a mighty destiny.

Nothing less.

You have already stolen this Mami's heart.

Every moment with you will be a gift from our God up in Heaven.

And I thank Him now for every moment I get to have with you.

For every smile to come,

For every tear you shed,

Your Mami is here, with arms wide open,

With my heart already in your hand.

Your mami will always fight for you,

Her fierce protection only superseded but that of our Abba,

Whose love you cannot yet imagine.

I wait patiently for your arrival,

But know, mi corazon, that your arrival will be cause for a great celebration,

Because you are the greatest gift that My Beloved could ever give me on this Earth,

And you will be my treasure.

You are already my treasure.

Mami loves you baby of mine.

Much love,

B

What Does Love Look Like?

This is how Jesus loves me and how He is teaching me to love every single day:

Misty Edwards-Arms Wide Open

“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been pondering
“What does love look like?”
“What does love look like?” is the question I’ve been asking of You

I once believed that love was romance, just a chance
I even thought that love was for the lucky and the beautiful
I once believed that love was a momentary bliss
But love is more than this
All You ever wanted was my attention
All You ever wanted was love from me
All You ever wanted was my affections, to sit here at Your feet

Then I sat down, a little frustrated and confused
If all of life comes down to love
Then love has to be more than sentiment
More than selfishness and selfish gain

And then I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
I saw Him there, hanging on a tree, looking at me
He was looking at me, looking at Him, staring through me
I could not escape those beautiful eyes
And I began to weep and weep

He had arms wide open, a heart exposed
Arms wide open; He was bleeding, bleeding

Love’s definition, love’s definition was looking at me
Looking at Him, hanging on a tree
I began to weep and weep and weep and weep

This is how I know what love is, this is how I know what love is

And as I sat there weeping, crying
Those beautiful eyes, full of desire and love

He said to me, “You shall love Me, You shall love Me
You shall love Me, You shall love Me”

With arms wide open, a heart exposed
With arms wide open, bleeding, sometimes bleeding

If anybody’s looking for love in all the wrong places
If you’ve been searching for love, come to Me, come to Me
Take up your cross, deny yourself
Forget your father’s house and run, run with Me
You were made for abandonment, wholeheartedness
You were made for someone greater, someone bigger, so follow Me
And You’ll come alive when you learn to die.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2ZCIp0HiRo

much <3,
b

Friendships Dies Hard

I miss my best friend.
Yup. This marks the 1 year anniversary of the hardest week for my life.
Not just one day.
But yes, the entire week.
I try not to think about that too much, and it works out quite well for me...
No one needs that replayed in there mind more than absolutely necessary.
Me telling that story is not for the fainthearted.
For realzies.
But today, I realized that all the pain that I've felt in the last 359 (ish) days was, yes, the lost of the man I planned to be with for the rest of my life...
But over and above everything that has caused me to crumble to my knees, I realized that I miss my best friend.
Of course my best girlfriends know so much about me and can make me laugh with our endless parade of inside jokes.
But this guy, the guy whom I had devoted myself to, had my heart. Selflessly and, according to me, for life.
This kind of vulnerability is all I knew, and I now that God created me to be that way, and I praise Him every day for helping me love so fully, without fear, with complete trust.
But when you love so openly, just like the Lord, you expose your heart and sadly, it seems, pain is inevitable.
Not just some pain.
Great pain.
Great, searing pain that cuts through you.
This pain was so multi-faceted, I remember just crying out to God to get me through it.
I asked Him to help me get through the pain. And not just survive. But learn. And fully heal. Refinement. Maturity.
But today, all deep, spiritual and emotional depths aside, I miss my best friend.
Not everyone would sit and watch The Incredibles with me and love it just as much.
Or recommend Cars. And Meet the Robinsons (and be able to replicate the T-Rex with a quite uncanny precision...)
Or love the hamster from Bolt as much as me.
Hm.
And those are just the Pixar memories...

The Lord gives and He takes away.
My heart will choose to say,
Blessed be Your name.

In all things, He is good.
Whom have I to fear?

I like to think that all things work for good because the Lord loves me with a love beyond my comprehension.

So I know He's taking care of me.
He will heal.
He will save.
He will restore.
He will deliver.

But I know that:

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

My God is good.
I praise you for this year Jesus.
You have been glorified.
Even if it is unexpected or unrecognizable to me and the world.

But I love you, Abba.
For you are good.

Much love,

B

Everything

I figure it's about time to post a song that has one of the biggest influences in my life.

It also happens to carry many memories.

Many pains.

Many joys.

And many things that I would rather forget.

But Truth is Truth.

So I hang on to that.

This song just took my by surprise.

My old friend and I used to cherish this song.

It enveloped the pain and the triumph we were going through.

The journey.

It remains the same.

Jesus is my everything. All I want. All I need.

And just like in the skit that I once saw...He fights for me.

All He wants is my attention.

I'm trying, Beloved. I truly am.

Here's Everything by Lifehouse:

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

much love,

b

More Than a Conqueror? Mhmm.

Hm.

A year in the life...

It's been almost a year of the most tumultuous year of my life.

But who's counting?? (I'm really not...but there's always reminders along the way...and new milestones that mark the journey since that are by no means any less impactful.)

And you can see it on me.

I'm not harsh about it, but as I look in the mirror I see the weight of my burdens.

Figuratively and literally.

As I rummage through my used-to-be wardrobe I ask God for the grace to not beat myself up or break down crying.

There's a good reason why my face has broken out more than ever before.

And why the bags under my eyes are permanently painted on deeper and darker than ever before.

Why my body's lashing out on me in the form of seemingly chronic fatigue and every possible disbalance.

And those are just the exterior physical signs.

I assure you some days I swear you would see the walking dead dragging around if my exterior honestly reflected my interior.

Yeah, I feel like a total liar when I say "I'm doing fine, thanks!"...Which is why I really say that...if I do I'm just too exhausted to even take a peek at the broken insides.

My friend mentioned the word disassociation today and I've used it in the last year and a bit.

Even when I was on cloud nine I would forget that the joy was my own.

And now, amidst the muck, I see myself and can tell myself "You need to do this and this and this to be better..."

But then I realize that there is no formula.

I give it all to God as often as it even crosses my mind and I have no doubt that He listens and that He helps. Because He does.

Believe me, I know it could be faaaaaaaar worse.

My self-awareness is such that I don't deny the fact that my Lord has come down and embraced me, carried and has never forsaken me. His grace is more abundant than the ocean is wide and I feel like I've been using every single drop at my disposal.

Oh pitiful humanity, thou art a thorn in my side!!

Why must you slump around in your weakness and add to the pile of garbage that has already collected?

"THERE IS FREEDOM" they declare!!

THEN SHOW ME, ABBA!

SHOW ME!

I don't see it! I don't feel it!!

I feel You. I do. But why must I turn my back on your so absentmindedly?

YOU have conquered the grave.

YOU have overcome sin.

You TERRIFY the Enemy.

And you LOVE me.

And you pray for ME.

You cover ME.

You DELIGHT in me????

How can one unstick an ugly mole that has begun to ravage all its surroundings?

Surgically, I guess.

And with a decent and substantial amount of pain.

I just want it goooooooone.

And this is just the sin.

I haven't even mentioned the things that float around in my mind.

It is the mind of Christ.

Then for Heaven's sake, brain, ACT LIKE IT.

2 Corinthians 12:
"7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me (NOT of Father God), lest I be exalted above measure (fulfill my inheritance and purpose). 8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. (waaaaaaay more than that....ugh) 9 And He said to me, “MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY STRENGTH IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS." (WELL, heck, TAKE IT! JUST TAKE IT THEN!!) Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure (um...not quite yet there...take me there) in infirmities (of which there are many), in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses (re: bags under my eyes), for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

My guts don't like that. When I am weak...aka...right now...in every moment...I am...strong???

God, I gave this to you as soon as I could because I knew I could not survive it alone.

I just don't get what you're doing.

You take care of me. You really do.

I can feel the grace.

But yet there's this weight.

Take the stuff that isn't from you.

I can't bear it.

And I shouldn't have to.

But the dam isn't that strong.

Refinement...it doesn't suck. I can't knowingly say that. Because that's not what I believe in my heart.

Refinement...hurts.

The open heart surgery...the cancer removal is still in the process.

And in many ways, I feel like you've given me a shot of anesthetic to survive the worst of it...which comes in waves.

And I can deal with that... Your ways are so greater than mine.

But your "Bringer of Joy" doesn't feel like she's living up to her name sake.

Ha.

Well, then again, that Joy was all You. Always has been. And I still seem to make people happy...aka You still use me to make people happy...so thank you for still using this surgery patient.

For You are good.

Because You love me, You will rescue me-Ps 91

Oh rescue me, Abba!!

Yeshua. Yeshua. Yeshua.

Help me.

Your child is weak.

She needs your strength.

She can't seem to find hers.

It wasn't super anyway.

I'm in repair.

I'm still here.

But it's hard to sound like yourself but not feel like yourself.

You can only lie to yourself for so long.

And then your laugh sounds so fake it just upsets you.

SPRING UP OH WELL WITHIN ME.

We need all the back up we can get.

Captain and your guards? Guard this palanquin tightly. (Song of Songs)
I know you have more men around me then usual and you're all like super experts at this...but I seem to be letting garbage in...just don't listen to me. Kill it. Ask Abba. Not me. The Spirit within me groans and intercedes on my behalf (Romans 8)

Listen to Him. Not me.

Much obliged.

Lord, help me.

I need to be healed.

I want it all. You have so much planned for me, I can't even imagine it (1 Cor 2:9).


And You are so faithful, You're still leading me that way. But this needs to be gone.

And as we've already worked out, this is so Yours.

More grace Abba. More love. More You. And less me.

Oh, and thank you for the free Blackberry! It's the nicest material thing you could have given me :) It's beautiful!! You do take care of me, regardless of the rest of this message says :P You've got me. And thank you for these beautiful reminders and answers to prayer.

I don't doubt.

I will never doubt.

Just not get it :P

Thank you for being so great that your ways are beyond me <3

B


Romans 7 (New King James Version)

Romans 7
Freed from the Law
4 Therefore, my brethren, you also have become dead to the law through the body of Christ, that you may be married to another—to Him who was raised from the dead, that we should bear fruit to God. 5 For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to death. (SEE! RIGHT THERE!! IT SAYS IM FREE ENEMY!! GA!! Yeshua, cultivate this soooo firmly in my soul, mind and heart!) 6 But now we have been DELIVERED from the law, having died to what we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit and not in the oldness of the letter.


Law Cannot Save from Sin

13 Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not! But sin, that it might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful. 14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For what I am doing, I DO NOT understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I DO. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, BUT SIN THAT DWELLS IN ME. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in MY FLESH---die flesh, DIE!) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. (the one reassurance--I can live without that gross stuff stuck on me)

21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O WRETCHED MAN THAT I AM! WHO will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I THANK GOD—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.


And now, my favourite chapter in the Bible that is posted all over my walls...

JESUS--GET THIS IN MY head for it is engrained Spirit!

Romans 8

Free from Indwelling Sin

1 There is therefore now NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus (ya. i know. HUH?), who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the SPIRIT (Oh how the battle continues on--thank you for fighting it for me...and for winning it for me). 2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me FREE from the law of sin and death. 3 For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh, 4 that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. 5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. 6 For to be carnally minded is DEATH, but to be spiritually minded is life and PEACE (Yes!! please!). 7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8 So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

9 But you (Yes, ME, B!) are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. 10 And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11 But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Sonship Through the Spirit

12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

From Suffering to Glory

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the GLORY which shall be revealed in us. 19 For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21 because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23 Not only that, but we also who have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24 For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.

26 Likewise THE SPIRIT ALSO HELPS IN OUR WEAKNESSES. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

God’s Everlasting Love

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? 33 Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:


“ For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”

37 Yet in all these things we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Much love,

B